MIDAS ( in haibuns )

I suppose it begins with the Gold episode – I made a mistake – I don’t deny it . I was offered a reward for services rendered as you might say and I thought what about a nice new chariot ? and then I thought maybe an extension to the palace or a swimming pool but then I thought well – give me the Cash and then I can have a proper think and then I thought well but I don’t want it in out-of-date drachmas or zlotys or something that’s technically cash but which I can’t actually spend so then I thought Gold . I mean you cant really go wrong with gold can you ?

Well – that WAS where I went wrong you see , you can’t be too careful with wording around the Higher Powers as they are literal beyond belief . I mean they may be Higher but they do not have any common sense or indeed understanding of metaphor . I mean I just asked for everything I touched to be turned to gold , I thought that was polite- see ? I wasn’t asking anyone to go and fetch it or anything . I would have thought that it was totally obvious that I didn’t mean my lunch – or the cat – or the baby .

I suppose they thought it was funny but I wasn’t laughing , it was like being trapped in a horrible dream – I mean there is no point in being surrounded by shiny metal when all you want is a pie and chips but everything is suddenly solid .

I missed the family too after a while – even the baby though to be honest they weren’t exactly my main worry at the time – bear in mind that I hadn’t had a thing to eat for hours and hours .

It took a heap of penance and grovelling to get it all sorted out . It did get sorted in the end but you know – I think that it was only after this whole episode that I started to notice things – they say that Near-Death can do that but it wasn’t just that . I found myself going round touching things – roses and bread rolls and cauliflowers and tree bark – not even things I could eat – just things that weren’t metal .

And things that were living , they were the best – Everything alive – even ants – I could watch them for hours now – just scurrying – just being ants .

And so that leads me to being on the hill in the wood with the dryads and stuff listening to the music of the pan pipes . Time was when I wouldn’t have given pan-pipes the time of day but that was then and this is now . I am a totally different type of person – I really like to get down with the nymphs and shepherds and that type of rustic folk – get my hands dirty – feel the earth – that is the sort of chap I am

So that day and I’m not saying there hadn’t been a certain amount of drink taken as is right because we were probably celebrating something but my memory is a wee bit hazy but it seemed to be one of those tiffy things going on between my good friend Pan and some posh bloke with a purple cloak and a stringy thing under his arm and I got the idea that they were having some kind of competition

Anyway the evening on the hill in the woods that I had been totally enjoying was rudely interrupted by this cheeky bloke with the cloak . He was not untalented , I suppose – in fact very good if you like that sort of thing . It was flowing and fluid and golden like a flow of liquid gold and everyone said Wow and clapped . Well – it was alright if you like that sort of thing but I have rather gone off it as you will will have guessed . I would have liked it once myself but now – call me a hillbilly but give me moonshine whisky and a banjo and I’m happy for hours and you can keep your fancy concert stuff .

Ad then someone asked me which I liked best – well that is what is always happening when you are King which I am even though I am lounging around in a wood with the peasants but when you are king you are always having to judge contests and dish out prizes – best garland – bonniest baby – cakiest cake, it’s just part of the deal so I did .

Now I have known some sore losers but this one took the banana – the lute playing individual went completely off the hook – I have never seen anything LIKe it !

I suppose I might have tried to be a bit more tactful if I’d realised and said something about how high the standard of the entries was and that I was announcing a Joint Winner and Jolly Good All Round – but what with the moon and the moonshine I just thought Fuck it ! and told them what I thought of his sugary saccharine simpering stuff as opposed to Real music- I mean after all – what could he do ?

So – here I am – not entirely sober , in the woods at Midsummer and yes – I do seem to have hairy ears since you mention it but I have the feeling that – you know – really anything might happen .

Oh look – here come for Athenian teenagers and they are squabbling about something

music in the air
on this hot midsummer night
nothing's what it seems

a touch of fairy hair
smell of fox and hare in sight
as the moonlight streams

on the widening stair
in the bush , a fright
on this hill of dreams

Anita Greg 11/11/2018

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